Are you always pleasing others?

This is for those who are ever self sacrificing and are habitually putting happiness of others before their own - possibly because some stupid moral science or spiritual lesson or some elderly person's "wise" consel has taught them to be so.

Consider these

1) Does sacrifing your happiness to please others TRULY makes you happy all the time.
2) Do you feel your emotions are getting suffocated?
3) Do you feel you are becoming low in self esteem and confidence?
4) Do you feel you are not able to work towards accomplishing your desires?
5) Do you feel used and manipulated?
6) Do you harbour feelings of martydom (foolishly thinking that by always sacrificng your own self before others, you have done something wonderful or something very spiritual)

Pitfalls

Spiritual
1) Every person has a duty towards his own self, his own soul. When the sould incarnates in the human body, it does so because it has its own karmic agenda which needs to be carried out. Constantly sacrificing oneself before others becomes an obstacle in one's own karmic path. One's evolution slows down when this happens and then one is no longer fulfilling his own life's purpose.
2) You create bad karma if you continue to be of service to others and all the while feeling distressed inside. For then, you are cheating your own self.
3) It could be that you are unwittingly participating in someone else's bad karma. So more bad karma for you!

Practical
1) Persistenly ignoring one's own happiness and desires leads to emotions being crushed. Crushed emptions lead to low self esteem. Low self esteem leads to lack of confidence which prevents a happy and successful life - Is this so difficult to understand?
2) You do not command respect.
3) You are always used and manipulated.
4) You are always taken for granted.
5) You might develop a servile attitude - Yes you might become a doormat.
6) Suppressed emotions lead to diseases.

Selfishness is not as bad as it is made out to be. Ofcourse when it is accompanied by indifference, lack of respect, irresposibility, etc then it is evil but the selfishness that helps one evolve is not bad. Consider this - If one is not happy himself how on earth does one make others happy? If one does not possess something himself how and what will he give others. It is only when you are happy, successful and radiant with joy that you have something to give others. In order to achieve this it becomes very very necessary to often put oneself before others. In doing this you are not being selfish but are just being responsible towards your own self.

Cheers
Manish